I wanted to share a poem I wrote late at night in my journal. Its personal, and raw with emotion. My emotions, much like a lot of every word I write in my journal.
Sidenote: Its not a silly jr. high kind of boy obsessed journal. Most entries just help me get out what i wish i could say to other people, and what i would never dare tell anyone else. Its the one place I can be completely me.
I’ve built a fortress around me,
a place I can be alone with my thoughts.
Its scary and dark and lonely,
but too much to let another inside.
Every man that enters, runs away in fear.
Scared I’m the girl who cant be cured.
Because my thoughts are deafening,
yet so quiet not even a dog could hear.
Ive locked all doors and boarded the windows,
as though to fool everyone with my facade.
My days are never ending, my nights even longer,
because my thoughts are self destructing.
My faith is ever shaking, though not much is breaking.
This disease is my fortress, captive I am held.
Its like my thoughts are binding,
dragging me neither here nor there, but everywhere.
For a rescue i could hope,
But a hopeless hope is that.
Not the strongest man could drag me out,
I’m bound until I fall.
So I’m no poet by any means, but these words mean something to me. Maybe because they are me. The me no one sees.